


Mo leannan, gu bràth.

by sakuracute14



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Action, Adventure, Angst, Betrayal, Demon, Demons, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Friendship, First Love, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Mages (Dragon Age), Magic, Mystery, Post-Dragon Age: Origins, Rivalry, Romance, Strong Female Characters, Templars (Dragon Age), True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25181266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuracute14/pseuds/sakuracute14
Summary: Highever was her home and would always be her home. But, sometimes... You have to leave to grow and be your own person. Shizuka while not overly caring about leaving home would have done it without the massacre of her own family. It would always be her duty to go back in the end - That was her duty, but sometimes duty can end your own life.Whether it be because of duty or for someone you loved.Her story is far more complicated though...
Relationships: Alistair & Female Warden (Dragon Age), Alistair/Female Cousland (Dragon Age), Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age), Zevran Arainai/Female Cousland, Zevran Arainai/Female Warden





	1. Origins.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, to make this real quick let me tell you a few things. First off, not a fan of doing everything by the game at all. This is why you might come to see things that move away from that. I write a lot... So if I didn't then you would maybe have ten chapters at the most. 
> 
> Another thing! I much prefer people comment to let me know how you like this - Yeah nice to know you hearted it and want to follow, but how does that give me inspiration as a writer? How is that supposed to make me feel this is working out? Please, at least attempt a paragraph of comment and let me know! Not just about how you love it. I'm not a mind reader, what the hell do you love about it?
> 
> This is all - Bye-bye!

* * *

“..The Chantry teaches us that it is the hubris of men which brought the Darkspawn into our world. The mages had sought to usurp haven, but instead, they destroyed it. They were cast out, twisted and turned by there own corruption. They returned as monsters, the first of the Darkspawn. They became a blight upon the lands, unstoppable and relentless. The dwarven kingdoms were the first to fall, and from the deep roads, the dark spawn drove at us again and again until finally, we neared annihilation. Until the Grey wardens came-” The [lady](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552605816777243232/) with long white hair spoke loud and clear, the very tips of her hair covered in a light blue. She brushed over her shoulder while she dressed very [casually](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552605816775860564/) for reading that morning. Her face was shaped into a heart, covered with a fair complexion almost resembling snow itself. Her teal eyes gazed down at the book in her lap, the words coming out of her mouth like she knew the story from the heart. Those long eyelashes fluttered briefly for a moment before her eyes looked up at the children waiting on the floor in front of her.   
  
Shizuka Cousland was a woman of few words when it concerned people out of the family or her home, she was dressed in a puffy shirt which had a few strings at the front that she tied lightly. There was a blue and gold vest that covered her completely, protecting her from the harmful sun around this season. Instead of wearing a skirt she chooses a more practical outfit and placed on some breeches for the sake of walking around and doing the normal rounds as the second heir. On her hip, she had a single sword and brown belt hanging from her side, more for looking at than fighting with. ‘Looks are important.’ As her mother would preach more often than she liked. “Well, I think this is all I can do. Oren,” she said to him. Her blue eyes glancing at [him](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/71494712819081946/) to see his bottom lip poking out more. Rolling her eyes at him, and standing on her own two feet with the brown leather boots tapping on the floor. The book was sat on the side even though the children whined and complained about going back to there lesson.   
  
“Aw...!” The younger boy whined. His brown eyes looking up from his lap after a second, following his Aunt and walking on the floor with her. The small boy was a boy with his mother's ginger hair, a pair of chocolate brown eyes from his father. Who was the first heir to the Cousland line, though not really favored to take over because of his family blood. “Do we have to, Aunty?” He asked again. His brow furrowing slightly while he scowled at the reminder of his father leaving this morning. He was a smart boy, who still have trouble speaking like the rest of him. However, the blood of a Cousland showed through his eagerness to learn and smart talk. He was often found playing with the wooden sword or playing with Shizuka who never turned him down.  
  
Shizuka closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Oren,” She started off sternly, giving him a look. “Fergus is leaving today and I want you to spend time with him. Understand? I have duties to attend to and father is waiting for me.” She explained, her hand touching his head and ruffling his hair. Unlike her he was dressed like the other children, a white shirt and brown shorts with his brown vest opened. The simple shoes on his feet were recently made so he could run around and cause as much trouble as he liked.   
  
Oren sighed, his eyes had a glossy look covering them. “I guess..” He mumbled, his hair falling over his face until her soft hand left his hair. Eventually, he nodded and reached up to give his Aunt a kiss before taking off down the courtyard. Leaving the older woman to watch him go, mixed feelings that came with the first day his father had to leave made her a little guilty and she knew it as much as anyone. Letting someone go out to fight these.. Things was hard for anyone to do.  
  
For generations her family the Couslands. Has steward the lands of Highever, earning the loyalty of there people with justice and temperance. When the country and occupied the Orlesian Empire, her father. Bryce Cousland and grandfather served the embattled kings of your land. Today, Shizuka’s brother takes house Couslands banner in service to the crown--not against the men of Orlais. But against the bestial rising in the south. It was going around her country faster than her father or mother could have planned and now a lot of people worry about them being without her father. She understood, he was a great man and father.   
  
The heiress turned on her heel and made her way through the courtyard. The two soldiers stand at the large gate stood at attention and saluted her. Her lip turned upward at this, “Stand at ease men.” She chuckled. Making her way through the gate the shoulders of each man behind her relaxed. Shizuka was the type of woman you could grow to respect and yet there was a powerful presence that came with her. The title never made you powerful, what power came from was the person herself. Instead of using that power, she worked on being herself. A lady and a warrior. Eleanor Cousland wasn’t happy about this and her mother enjoyed bringing her down from her proud image, a lady should be a lady and not both.   
  
“Shizuka Cousland!” The [woman](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/559853797424371901/) in person yelled at her from the entryway of the gates the woman standing talk much as she did. Enough to make herself cringe in waiting, “Your father has been waiting for you with, Howe. How long do you intend to lazing around?” Eleanor continued to lecture her. Her eyes looking at her casual attire, the brow on her forehead wrinkled as soon as she finished. The frown on her wrinkled face made it more amusing in a way, unlike her hair was Grey and tied back into two braided buns to keep everything away from her face. The heart-shaped face she had as well made her stand out more. Those silver eyes piercing into her soul, “what have I told you? Dress before meeting with Howe!” Her hand reached over and tugged her daughter toward the right side of the hall, both walking along the hall until they came to her room where the family section was.   
  
Shizuka frowned deeply, “Mother. This is just a meeting with Howe,” She reasoned on there way inside her room she turned to face her mother and stopped her. Her Icy blue hues narrowed, “What are you planning?”  
  
Eleanor looked around the room, her eyes shifting away from her for a second. “Nothing! Nothing, my dear. I just want you to be at your best.” She told her. Smiling at her while backing toward the door, her hand turned the handle and edged out of the room. “Don’t let them waiting, I want you to meet me and control your dog when you come out.”   
  
“Mother-!” She shouted the door slamming in front of her face before she could get anything out of her. This was just great. First, she had to dress for that pervert, then her mother has something planned and she just knew she was playing matchmaker. Rolling her eyes, turning around where the [room](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/210965563777385839/) she faced was about the size of her training room back in a courtyard away from the men. From the center a few steps were in front of her, leading to the large bed in white and blue sheets that her personal servant and a best friend worked on. When you go to the middle of the room, in front of the bed and down those steps was a dresser with all her make-up and jewels. Just beside that, was a bathroom large enough to be a servant bedroom.   
  
Shizuka shoulders relaxed slightly, walking over to the bed she sat down and fell back on it. Her eyes closing for a minute. The peace and quiet and serenity of her room made her feel calm for once. She loved her home, but at times she wanted to be normal and live a life of a commoner. Each had their downside, but as the title gives she has to give back just as much, and watching her back with every turn was exhausting for her. After a minute she sat up, leaned down to pull the boots off her feet, and then her breeches. The vest on her chest was untied by a string at the back so her arm reached behind and tugged it off before removing this and gathering the dirty clothing to a basket filled with dirty clothing, along with the very puffy shirt she enjoyed.  
  
Her eyes looked at the door before she shook her head. Her mother wouldn’t come back in case she questioned her this time, both of them knew she wouldn’t accept a arrange marriage unless they needed to make her do that. Turning around slightly, she walked to her bathroom door and pushed it open. Enjoy the steam from the ready-made bath before she paced into the warm waters, a loud sigh coming out from her mouth when her body was completely in the water. With the meeting in mind, she hurried to scrub herself clean and enjoy the smell of Andraste’s grace in her warm bath. Then she stepped out and grabbed a towel, drying herself off with a towel and then wrapping her hair and body in one. Leaving the room to sit at her dresser, brushing the long silver locks down her back, the blue taint showing at the very tips.   
  
Eventually, Shizuka walked out of the room with herself [dressed](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552605816777798514/) and cleaned in a new blue dress. The light fabric left it easy to move around and the choker dress wrapped around her neck and left her back bare. Delicately, the dress was also made to have a couple of layers and fall down her feet. Making it look like any other dress but she could move better than it looked. Her sleeves were detached, and hung on her arm, falling down her wrist as well. On her walk to the main hall, she came to the double door and walked inside to find [Rendon Howe](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/457678380854469678/) waiting.   
  
“I trust, then, that your troops will be here shortly?” [Bryce Cousland](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/317081629996016638/) asked. With his back to them, the fireplace at the front of the room flickering in front of him. From the back, he stood tall with his Grey hair brushed back. The silk suit he wore blinding in with the color of the royal family, much to there distaste Rendon howe followed but he wasn’t here with pure silk or something rich. His own in a velvet color compared to her father's gold outfit.   
  
Her eyes glanced at Howe from the corner of her eyes, standing on the same step as her father while he spoke to his old friend. “ I expect they will arrive shortly,” Howe spoke up. The man in person was like a rat, even his face was shaped like a rat. It made Shizuka cringe every time he looked her over and leered, if he did it one more time she was going to kick him somewhere awful. Their eyes clashed and her own shifted to look at her mother who walked out with a forced smile. “Then we can march tomorrow, I’m truly sorry your grace. This is entirely my fault.”  
  
“No, No!” Bryce shook his head. Turning to face them while his brown eyes saw Shizuka he paid her no mind until he finished. “The appearance of the Darkspawn in the south has us all scrambling.” He turned his head and folded his arms behind his back when he saw Howe. “I only received a call from the king recently, myself.” Walking down from the step near the fireplace. He smiled slightly, “I will send my eldest. You and I can ride tomorrow like the old days.” His eyes followed his old friend who walked up to stand by him.  
  
Howe smirked at this, though he seemed to be thoughtful about it. “True, though we had fewer grey hairs and.. We never fought monsters.” He reminded him, the snarky response normal for someone like him.  
  
“At least the smell will be the same!” Bryce joked, the sound of the door opening at the front forced his eyes away from him. The soldier walking over whispered into his ear, the news causing a genuine smile to come onto his face. “Very well. Send him in,” he told him before turning to face his little girl. “Pup, you decide to join us did you?”  
  
Shizuka smiled politely, “Oren was rather eager to hear his usual story,” She told him. Her eyes shifting to Howe. “Good even, Rendon Howe.” She greeted in a monotone voice, those icy eyes narrowing at him.   
  
“Ah. The lad loves his stories on the grey wardens, speaking of which. Both of you, come and meet my old friend.”   
  
Shizuka turned and looked over the [man ](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/432345632950139677/)that silently walked to them. Neither of them saw him or heard him before, even though he had some good heavy armor on there. He was a rouge, she could tell since his body wasn’t covered like her own would be. “Grey Warden?” She questioned, her eyes going to her father again. Her tutor spoke of him often. Her own curious nature made her wonder why he was here. However, those were cut off when Howe spoke up.  
  
“Grey warden?!” The rat’s eyes widened slightly, “This is honor, your grace. But, why would one be here?” He asked. Those eyes nervously shifting between the tall man and then back to his old friend.   
  
Byrce and Shizuka shared a look and then narrowed there eyes, both holding that cold steel look. “He came here without me knowing,” The lord admitted, still holding that same look while his friend looked around him. There was something off about the question, a lot of them had guessed as much but they knew he would never do something now. What fool would? His eyes moved to the man in person. “Duncan. Welcome my friend, this is my little girl Shizuka and my old friend Rendon Howe.” He introduced them, the conversation dismissed for now.  
  
The tall man was dark skinned, though older she would say he wasn’t as old as her father. Though looks could be very deceiving to people, there was a pair of warm brown eyes on his face that looked at her with a dark mist. His long black hair was tied into a ponytail, keeping it away from his face while he wore a silver armor on his front and arms. The brown breeches left for light running, being a rouge she could tell he worked in strength as well. Duncan, bowed and placed a hand over his chest. “Well met, Lady Shizuka and lord Howe.” He greeted in a deep voice.  
  
“ Duncan came here looking for more recruits,” Her father told them his eyes shifting to her own. Shaking his head, they knew she was interested but her voice wasn’t going to speak up. While she loved the thought of going, her home needed her and she lived on keeping her duty first in her life. Selfish people couldn’t be here at this time.  
  
Duncan nodded his head, “Yes. I happened to see one before coming here.” He admitted, “However. If I might be blunt, your daughter is also a wise choice-”  
  
Bryce eyes snapped toward the Grey warden commander. “Honor that might be, this is my daughter were speaking of.” He said, his voice rising slightly while his cold gaze turned to Duncan. “I will not see all my children to war, and Shizuka has no interest in going.” He told him. The girl behind him blinking and shaking her head at them before she bowed slightly, before leaving the room in that frustrating dress.   
  
The day was spent with her going around in this frustrating dress, thankfully on her way she found her best friend looking for her. Secretly asking for news on the Grey warden. “There you are, Shizuka.” A tall man with [strawberry](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/420453315195559011/) blonde hair walked up to her, a slight smile on his face. “Your mother told me your father summoned you. So, I didn’t want to interrupt.” He admitted, those brown eyes sending warmth through many ladies around Highever. Both knew he had a crush on her, yet she couldn’t say a thing about it or even speak of I because of her family. He was a tall man, with short hair brushed in the middle with a bronze armor covering his entire body, and Highever shield. Much like herself, he grew into fighting for her father, both learned how to be a warrior together and sometimes sparred when her father allowed it.   
  
Raising an elegant brow at him, “ Nice to see you too and yes. He is interested in you,” She told him while shaking her head. The thought of the only close friend going and not herself made her feel jealous, but she knew her duty and that was the only thing she cared about.  
  
“He spoke of me?” Gilmore asked, his eyes going wide with a bright smile on his face. Though the more she saw it stretched the more she thought of him grinning. “Well... That’ s good. By the way, your mother is searching for you. Blanca is causing trouble for nan again.” For the most part, both of them spent there day dealing with her dog, her own dog was a little different from the rest. Instead of a normal dog, she had a mixed breed that happened to look like a wolf than a normal dog. He was the lovable sort though, time passed and Shizuka went her own way to her brother's room across from her own.   
  
Oren took her own advice and enjoyed his last moments with his father. A small smile came to her face, her face softened at the scene. “Is there really going to be a war, papa? Will you bring me back a sward?” The [man](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/191121577913942594/) in the room had brown hair, and the darkest brown eyes she had ever seen on someone. Her brother, Fergus was like the black sheep but neither of them fought as everyone assumed. If anything, he was the best thing in this family and she loved him. Everyone knew she was father’s little girl though and that wouldn’t change.   
  
Fergus chuckled, “ That’s sword Oren. And I will get the mightest sword I see, I promise.” Standing in the [armor](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/AbPXk-I70pJnb2sLlhBBbsIfu1EEgG_PXGwBzhwCxvrkyc-tmRyyc-4/) of there country, with his Cousland Shield and sword. He stood proudly again and brought his hand to his son's head for a second. Ruffling his hair a little, until he saw his sister. “My dear sister, I hear you're causing trouble again.”  
  
“Well, not all of us can be perfect. Brother,” Shizuka mused, a grin stretching along her face when she walked over. Kneeling in front of Oren, and picking him up so he was on her waist.   
  
The woman beside her brother was someone he married, without her mother and father knowing. It was amusing, but she was a wonderful lady, not one could blame him. She had red hair which matched her sons and her eyes were a brilliant green. “ I wish victory was indeed so certain,” Orana spoke, her hands folded in front of her lap, anyone could see she worried for her husband greatly.  
  
“Don’t scare the lad, love. I will be fine,” Fergus assured, “Now put on a smile and wish me luck.”  
  
“I do hope you plan on saying goodbye, before leaving.” A female voice suddenly said, Eleanor and Bryce, coming into the room with a smile on there face. Turning her eyes to Shizuka, “You should go and sleep, my dear. I have to leave in the morning and you should be up to say goodbye and take on the day.” She said. Ushering her to go, with Bryce following Shizuka. His hand touching her shoulder.   
  
Shizuka was lead to her room, standing at her door when her father turned to go back. She turned around and frowned. “Father! Is it really wise to go like this?” She asked him, her brow furrowing.  
  
Bryce turned, his eyes going wide at her sudden shout. Seeing the concern on her brow, his face softened slightly, walking back to her he placed his hands on her shoulder. “It is when the king demands it. This isn’t a picnic my dear, we are going to war and I may not come back this time.”  
  
“Father..” The heiress frown deepened, the blue in her eye darkened with a glossy shine to them.   
  
He smiled at her and urged her into her room. “Don’ worry my dear, think positive and I will be back before you know it.” Her father assured before closing the door on her and turning on to find his wife and lead her to bed.

* * *

That was the last time she would be seeing them, she should have known or wished she had known. Maybe she could have had a fighting chance, looking after her own country and she failed without even trying. How could she ever forgive herself? Hours passed, no one had any idea that the men were coming that night, and coming on a couple of hours Shizuka woke up at the sound of barking and someone knocking on the door. “Blanca?” She called. The [wolf’s](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552605816779159822/) ear twitched and flickered before it continued barking. Closing her eyes, and rubbing her face with her hand she jumped off the bed and quickly pulled on her armor and clothes. When she was ready her hand reached for the door and something red and brown tackled her down to the ground. Knocking the wind out of the warrior herself she opened her eyes to find Oren. “...O-Oren!?”   
  
The boy she loved as if her own laid on her chest, a sword coming out of the back. Shizuka’s eyes slowly widened, “Oh maker.. Baby, what happened!?” Her hands quickly turned him and looked at the pale face of her nephew.   
  
Oren slowly opened his eyes slightly, but they were glazed over - she could just see the life going away from him. “A-Aunty..? Why is it so dark? I saw some mean men.. Then.. Then I ran here. Did I save you? Am I like father?”  
  
Her eyes closed tightly, burning behind her eyes forcing one tear to slip down her face. Her hands trembled and touched his face, leaning down with her snow White hair tainted in blood. “..Y-You are my hero, baby... Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise..” She whispered brokenly, her voice cracking at the end. Her face buried into his neck, a silent cry coming from her chest.   
  
Blanca suddenly barked loudly, pouncing on a man who held a bow and arrow and clamping down on his arm. Alerting the white-haired woman. Those steel cold eyes narrowing down on them, “Kill him, boy.” Shizuka ordered the sick sound of his arm snapping made him cry his pain. Standing and laying Oren down gently, she walked over there calmly and raised the sword in her hand before she plunged it in his heart.   
  
“Shizuka!? Oh- Howe’s men!?” Her mother ran out to meet her, her face paled slightly when she came to see her with blood in her hair. Then her eyes landed on Oren, her face contorting into pain and then anger so quickly. “Oh, my poor boy..” She whispered quietly, her eyes finding Shizuka who quietly wiped the sword on her blue skirt. The [outfit](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/yuripedia/images/4/43/12602-274168601.jpeg/revision/latest?cb=20170819132931) she wore fitting for her warrior class.   
  
The cold silence continued on from there, both herself and her mother killed the many men they came to. The rage and emotionless face surprising Eleanor and the servant with them. The first thing they did was go to the treasury and get the family [sword](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552605816782181395/) and [shield.](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552605816780691991/) She then swapped it for her old ones and followed her mother to the servant's basement. That was the first time since Oren that she showed emotion, the color from her face drained as she kneels before her father. “Father... Howe, He?”   
  
Bryce struggled to keep himself from staying awake for them. His entire body was covered in blood, while he held his side from bleeding out too quickly. “H-Howe..” He choked, his eyes landing on his young girl. “Oh pup..” His eyes softened, his eyes glossing over with tears that slowly fell down his face. He knew he wouldn’t see her grow up anymore or marry. “My darling girl..” He whispered.   
  
Shizuka's eyes teared up, “N-No... No! I’m not leaving without you or mother!” She shouted. Shaking her head at his words, or what would have come next. How could they ask that? This wasn’t right. She should fight with them here. The blood on her face was smeared with the fighting, but when she saw him it was enough to make her break.   
  
“You have to, Shizu,” Eleanor said, kneeling beside Bryce with her bow and arrow drew and ready for any bastard that came through. However, what came through was Duncan instead.  
  
Duncan looked grim. “My lord. The grounds are covered, we won’t have much time I can take your daughter if you agree. “ his brown eyes shifting to Shizuka who looked confused. He had pity for her, but he couldn’t go easy on them. He did come for someone and he needed it.   
  
“What? No, father!-”  
  
Eleanor shook her head, “Shizuka. Go, you must live and kill that bastard. Find your brother and go with Duncan. You will do great things and this is not your ending.” Her voice trembled, but it was strong and neither of them could budge from the floor. When Duncan grabbed her arm and dragged her out, the door broke down and she shoots her arrows at the men trying to kill them. Gaining Duncan and Shizuka time so they could run. It was the last time she ever saw them, but she took her servant and friend with her.

* * *

_" This isn't a bloody fairytale! We don't have a happy ever after, not like those stories and even then. Is our happiness the thing we want at that time? "_

**-Shizuka.**

  
**\---**   
  
_" She was the blizzard waiting to burst forward like a storm. Readying her sword for the kill I don't think I ever saw her flinch during our first fight. I couldn't want anything more in a woman - And only I can see behind that Icy mask."_

**-Alistair.**

**[Theme song for story/character.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHJr07zU9Gk&feature=youtu.be) **


	2. Duncan and the apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Was this interesting? I would think so. Will it get better? I hope so, I can't say I would be the best writer and if someone wanted to edit my stuff to make it better then do come to me. This will be a team effort, though. Oh and about this chapter, I know there wasn't really anything eager to know - I just felt skipping bits would destroy the entire thing! Lots of love!

* * *

The silence was the last thing on there mind while walking through the dense forest. Duncan, the commander of the Grey Wardens eyed the path ahead of them. So far, he could sense anyone around here just yet. Howe’s men might have gone another way or gave in. Knowing the arrogant bastard. “Hmm…” He cast a stray look over his shoulder to notice the lady still keeping up with him. _**She is strong and determined.**_ He thought to himself with a small smile. Turning back to the front once more, he tried not to show her pity… But the way she looked appeared to make anyone pity her personally.

The forest-covered there tracks easily, it was just the near the end of spring, fitting for a war zone that he pictured in front of them all. Today had to be May, 31st. Signaling the time for summer to come in very soon, that didn’t stop the cold frost building through the night. Causing there cheeks to warm like the Cousland who looked flushed – Duncan prayed it wasn’t something much worse than that at least.

The walk was a blur to her. personally, the grass felt like ice she used so often in training back home, **Home... Home is gone now, what home?** Shizuka thought to herself in bitterness while staring at the path ahead with her breath, making the air frost in front of her. She felt hot. Too hot, but refused to allow that to slow them down even once.

Fragments of the night haunted her till right now, she could hear the screaming and screeching of those put on fire while her mother pulled her through the castle. She wanted to help, she did. However, part of her was wise enough to know when to give in to her mother and accept it. The Cousland treasury was more important and they had to go to father, everything was a mess and the family knew this wasn’t the end of there long life.

“...How are you holding up, My lady?”

The sound of his rough voice rose the heiress out of her musing for the moment. Tired eyes blinked slowly, while her slow mind processed the question. Blue eyes revealed a slight dullness to the vibrant blue he saw during his visit. “Hm..?” Her head titled slightly, her brows knitting together for a second. Her body screamed at her to stop, every bone was aching from the rough fight and then the run, not to mention the constant walking and cold.

Strong or not, there was so much she could do. Shizuka smiled tiredly, “Forgive me... Duncan, I believe I might be getting tired.” She admitted honestly since the commander was a close pal to her father she saw no reason to hide anything from him.

Duncan's hardened gaze smoothed over his entire face, the smile fading to a thin line of worry and concern. “I see... A little further, we might as well find a lake close by.” He nodded his head, turning his gaze forward to hear the sound of water. _She can’t even heart that, strong girl. That pride and stubborn nature might get her killed on the day._

A quiet sigh escaped the female behind him, but her step picked up to catch up to him at least. Her hand coming up to rub her eyes, usually she was strict around looking too weak around people. Everyone had there limited and Duncan was the only person here. **This was fine, everything was fine.**

The silence of the forest came back to the two companions, but the curiosity in those blue eyes was almost too childish to ignore. “What is it?” He asked after a moment, his smile coming back for a moment. “If you have a question ask it. You will be busy later.” Duncan shook his head at her while a slight chuckle escaped him.

Shizuka dared to flush at her obvious or childish curiosity, it was the one thing she didn’t dare hold back around her. Her chapped lips pressed together, while her head lowered to stare at her feet.

“I wondered, did my father ever speak to you?”

“Speak to me?”

His dark eyebrow rose at the question, maybe it was too soon for her to know right now. He could write a letter in case something happened. But to tell her now?

“My father is no fool, to think he wouldn’t know if that attack or had some hints of it...” She sucked in a deep breath, her long eyelashes falling as she closed them tightly. Her heart clenched at the thought of talking about this and she knew it was her own fault. “I-I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have asked but-”

A hand touched her shoulder gently as if her words didn’t have to be finished her mouth shut firmly, and nodded her head in acceptance. His hand fell back to his side, but she knew he was capable of seeing through her little act – If you could even call it that. Shizuka didn’t have much of a façade going on with her strength down so low.

With a bit of pet talk to herself, her head rose once more to look forward and breathed in the frosty air, thankful it was going to end soon. The cold breeze did nothing for her flushed face, which didn’t seem to go away once she calmed. It only darkened, getting sick at this point wasn’t something she could deal with and held back from the man beside her. The cold air brushed against her cheek and for a moment, Shizuka could feel the heat soothe over the icy breeze. Her eyes fluttered closed and opened slightly, her lips pressed together hard.

It was true, though. Bryce Cousland was no fool. When Arl Howe came around everyone could see the resentment he felt toward them for the power he never gained. Shizuka, not being born then failed to understand what happened. Surely, the king had some reason to deny him? She wondered if the king failed to like Howe himself. That would be slightly amusing, her lips twitched upwards for a moment to imagine such a thing was hard. But, he was over so often that he became a sort of uncle to her as a child.

Desperately she tried to push those images and thoughts to the back of her mind. The slight bark just beside her causing her to flinch out of her thoughts. Blue eyes darted to the side in a slight panic to see her wolf.

The great wolf looked up at here with match crystal hues before tilting its head with another quiet bark. Eleanor used to say that an animal could choose to be with someone for life or till death. Even something wild, in this case, her little pet was as wild as they get being a great white wolf. The animal was fully built as big as a wolf would get in his grown-up age, truthfully this one beside her was quite young and rash. The fur on him was wild and untamed but groomed so it was the best it could be. The moonlight made his coat shimmer, previously shaking off the water he had found.

Shizuka slowly came to a stop at that moment. “Oh...!” She gasped slightly, catching the startled look of Duncan. However, she paid him little mind. Instead of allowing her dull eyes to widen with some brightness of water. “Did you find some water boy?”

“He is a little wet.”

The wolf is known as Blanca almost looked like he was grinning from the black lining of his jaw, the teeth showing with some vigor. His front bent forward while wagging his tail behind him. Releasing a loud bark he jumped forward to the east of where they were heading before looking back at them. Duncan spared a glance of amusement at Shizuka who laughed quietly, “He rarely acts like a wild animal. Duncan, he was trained to be my companion when he was tiny.” She answered his silent question.

Duncan’s black eyebrows rose slightly, almost shocked that an animal like this would be so loyal. “ Rather strange, but I guess he’s a step up from a normal dog.” He commented. Taking a step to follow the dog with a small chuckle.

“He is, and very protective,” Shizuka smirked slightly, her face hiding something amusing behind it while her eyes gleamed something evil. Maybe not evil, but it was pretty away from her serious attitude. She followed him while her loyal wolf leads them through the bushes to the east.

An hour later the two joined in quiet chatter between them. Duncan had been with her family for a long time and even then they knew the royal family together. The king right now was her brother's best friend, unfortunately, that meant a lot of childish pranks around them. The sound of the gentle river was hidden between a set of bushes for privacy, thank the maker.

“I will set up camp, you should get cleaned up and ready yourself for some rest.” He ordered gently, taking a step back to the main side of camp where he decided to mark the camp.

“Should I do anything for setting camp?”

Duncan spared her a look and settled his dark brown eyes on her tired form. “No, my lady has been through enough.” He said firmly, “I will be an hour away if you need me. We need some things for sleeping tonight.”

Shizuka frowned. She did not enjoy being seen as weak in front of people she knew but nodded anyway since her body was dragging itself for a long time now. “Very well...” She uttered before turning on her heel to head into the bushes to clean up. “Blanca, go with him.” She ordered the wolf who peeked from the bushes, barking in response before rushing toward the rogue commander.

With some time alone her blue eyes shifted to the full moon this time around. It was slightly less tense with them gone, and Shizuka was almost thankful for there leave. The snow haired maiden kneeled down on the floor first. Setting down the sword and shield for a clean up later on. Then, she reached her arms up and tied her hair into a messy bun. That would be the last to wash and the hardest with blood and much in her lovely locks.

The news of the Cousland household wouldn’t go around until it was too late, and while she knew this her eyes dropped to her lap, slow and precise actions only removing the metal corset she had on her chest for armor. Not the best thing to wear, but it was more for looking at than fighting – Shizuka was proud it was still in the piece yet. Her shoulders rolled and removed the sleeves from her arms with the metal gloves protecting them before standing back up.

There were not many who even hated the proud family, but with Rendon Howe, she didn’t think many had to anyway. _The fool._ Her perfect heart-shaped face titled up slightly, the moonlight hitting her pale features instantly. Almost instantly did her face and expression became Stony with fiery anger in her blue eyes, almost resembling blue fire. _Did he think this would give him power? The king will have his head for sure. But... What if someone else is in this?_ Her eyes narrowed dangerously, the idea unsettled her the most.

Shizuka mumbled to herself with a slight ping entering her head of an ongoing headache. Her eyes closing tightly with annoyance, this wasn’t the perfect time to think.

 **Deep breathes pup,** The voice of her father whispered hauntingly into her ear. His training coming back to her all at once. **Never allow your mind to be cluttered before you act. Calm yourself, and then think.** The voice faded into a mere whisper, but it left the heiress to suck in a deep breathe, even as her chest clenched painfully and her eyes pricked with tears she could feel the tension ease off.

 _Sorry, father... I wasn’t strong enough then, but I will be when I see him again._ She promised herself with a small smile, her hand clenched slightly before touching the locket around her neck once more. _You can count on it._

Shizuka shook her head and pushed depressing thoughts to the back of her head. This wasn’t the time, she was right about that. Once she stood without falling her fingers tugged off her metal boots and blue stockings before she removed her blue cape on her back and the dress slid down her thighs to reveal some white underwear. It wasn’t the best, but she took them off carefully and waddled to the edge of the water.

Her toes touched the freezing water, and then she backed off and found her dress and underwear to fix up a fire in the middle of the camp. Coldwater and no fire don’t mix at all.

Satisfied. She smiled to herself and wandered back to the river quickly, before removing annoying clothing to the side. She hoped he came back soon with something to change into. Though her dress was fine she guessed, but there was too much knowledge of her to wear them again and further into the land of all things.

Meanwhile, just as the Cousland girl went back into the cold water. The commander of the grey and Blanca made some quick time with both being more fit to wander than the tired girl. Duncan ran with the white wolf for a quicker trip into the village.

“Maker! A wolf, a great wolf!” One of the farmers tending to his field dropped his bag of plants, staring at them with horror on his face.

Blanca looked almost amused. Barking with his teeth flashing, the farmer fell on his backside from the threat. Duncan allowed warmth to come into his eyes for a moment while he watched the playful animal sniffing at the farmer. Then sitting down, the stunned man blinked and soon realized he wasn’t going to attack.

Shaking his head, he left the wolf to his own amusements and quickly left for the few shopkeepers for some new clothes and a cloak. Paying with a gold coin, then he turned to the market to buy some food and anything that would make it edible for the young lady. He was sure she might have camped out before this, but he couldn’t allow her to sleep without some medicine and food. He paused in his musings when someone whispered near him.

“Did you see the fire nearby?” One of the ladies spoke up first, picking up an apple by him.

The lady beside her blinked and glanced at the sky thoughtfully. “Oh, yes. There was a fire...” She nodded her head, brows furrowed. “....The Cousland castle is in that direction.”

The first woman gasped, her eyes instantly tearing up. “Maker, I hope they're all okay, my sister lived in the castle.” The two ladies then gossiped about other topics while the rogue slipped by quietly, turning his gaze to the sky once more. _I wish it wasn’t so..._

Back at the lake, the lone female was just starting to scrub into her skin to get out what she could before going to the actual camp in the king's army. This would be the best she could do to make herself feel clean for a time – Maker she hated the dirt. Shizuka’s face scrunched up slightly, her nose wrinkling slightly, and yet that pretty face stayed rather pretty with the ugly expression. The sound of howling rose her interest just slightly, and her gaze flickered to the bushes before her wolf bounced out and into the lake with a large splash.

“Oh! Blanca!”

Her laugh echoed throughout the camp, as bare as it was she grinned at her loveable companion with the first genuine smile. Pink lips stretched just slightly more than usual, her face glowing with shock and mirth in those bright blue eyes. “I will leave these by the bushes, my lady, I suggest not staying in long with your condition.” The rough voice chuckled at them. Her face flushed with a pink hue covering her pale cheeks.

“Of course, Duncan. If you leave the food I will cook for us.”

Duncan shrugged slightly, it would seem like she was firmly demanding some kind of job to do this night. “Very well... You might want to wash your companion. The dogs might... Stick to him in the king's camp.” He warned briefly before leaving her in peace.

Shizuka began to blink at his last words, then she turned her crystal eyes to the wolf. He was right. Personally, she didn’t want anything happening until this war was over. Blanca was a wolf after all he wouldn’t care about waiting, war or not.

“...Alright boy, wait there.” She ordered, Blanca laid his head down into the surface of the water. Ears flattened against his head somewhat, but a subtle whine came from him. “It has to be done, don’t be like that and come to the edge.” Her tone was firm when she wiggled out of the river in all her glory, her hands pulled out the clothes bought for her.

The spare cloth was used to dry her skin the best she could. The same with her hair, it was still damp for the moment but she considered that acceptable for the time. After all, she was going to be in front of the fire later on. Once dry she grabbed the [dress ](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552605816781613128/)shirt and pulled her arms through the sleeves before using her fingers to button everything, Then she fixed the puffy sleeves, and pulled on a vest to cover her chest more before sliding on some underwear and her black skirt with a side cut of frills down her left leg. Not the best thing to wear, but it was more common among folk around her so this will do.

Blanca dog paddled over to the edge of the river and whined again.

“Oh, hush.”

She didn’t understand her companion. He actually enjoyed her grooming when it came to it. The idea of him being dirty annoyed her the most, though. Her hand grabbed the spare cloth and began the long job for scrubbing down his fur with water and the soup the commander brought to her. Then, she backed off.

As if knowing it, the wolf jumped into the water again and back out to shake off the water from his fur again. Shizuka smiled warmly, her arms covering her face. “Oh, Blanca!” She scolded him lovingly, the laughter reaching the camp where Duncan sat down poking at the fire.

And so, the two came back into camp with the wolf looking proper for the noble house though a little peeved from the way the ears are plastered to his head. Shizuka snickered, her grin still on her face. You don’t see this very often, but when she was comfortable her smiles or grins came on more often and she began to let the imperfection of herself show. As an heir, she had to be perfect and that included being strong, wary, and strict. Such a pity considering her face lit up when her smile reached her eyes. Duncan watched her with mirth in his dark brown eyes, the scene causing him to smile at them warmly. “All clean?”

A whine came from the animal. “Oh yes,” The owner replied for him instead both going to the other side where a tent stood up. Blanca huffed and fell down to the outside of the tent. Head on the front of his paws.

“Cook the food and get some sleep.” Said Duncan, his brown hues eyeing her carefully in case something happened to her.

Shizuka did as he asked and began the job of settling the metal bowl over the fire before cutting the rabbit meat down into small sizes, once they were the right size to cook – Bigger was always hard to cook fast so the slower they are the better. Mixing the flour, thyme and a good pinch of salt and plenty of freshly ground black pepper in a spare bowl. She at least Melted the butter with a wooden spoon, at least once. Then added some of the oil in the bowl. Stirring it with the spoon until it was melted into the meat.

Once that was finished her attention went to the leftover rabbit. Just before putting some in her fingers began smudging the rabbit into the bowl of flour and other herbs before moving it into the bowl again. This was rabbit stew, she saw no reason to wait for it. Her eyes would shift from the bowl to check it was turning a good golden brown color. Once all the rabbit is browned, she adds a little more oil to the pan and cooks the bacon until the fat is browned and beginning to crisp, stirring regularly. After that she began to fry the onion for about five minutes until lightly browned and beginning to soften, stirring once more.

Duncan watched her, deciding to sit on his sleeping mat near his tent. While Shizuka Poured roughly half of the cider into the bowl over the fire and stirring vigorously with a wooden spoon to lift any sediment from the bottom. Simmering for a few seconds. Finally, adding some carrots, She turned all the rabbit portions, ensuring that as much of the meat is covered by liquid as possible.

“I have to say, that smells really nice.” He addicted, not sure if he should be surprised that cooking was something she did well... Eleanor was much the same.

“I should feel insulted that you think I would feed you bad food.”

“Of course not.” He chuckled, her sarcastic tone loud and clear.

The two companions soon began to eat there fill with food and with her things, Shizuka was wishing him goodnight before going into her tent. The fabric hiding the heiress behind him it while Duncan watched over them for one night. The rest would be done safely, and hopefully, she would feel better before moving once more.

No one ever thought their arrival would be such a big thing, though.


End file.
